If people ask me if I’m good at something, I’d probably say that I’m great with getting into trouble with my parents, and that sums up all the struggles I’ve caused my family. But, we’re getting along just fine.

I had my Mae when I just turned 16 years old, almost out of highschool, 5 months before graduation, I was nothing but a mess. And at that time, I think my family had this internal chaos inside their heads, no one was talking about it except my mother, of course, who immediately took care of everything without even shouting at me when I finally acknowledged that fact.

It was deafening silence, I tell you, after being in a family who just had all the loud voices, the quietness didn’t settle anywhere right. But despite all of that, my parents took care of me and my family accepted me, drowning all the possible judgments that others might say.

And those moments, almost 7 years ago, not just changed me but my family for the better. The struggles didn’t stop there, my ‘katigasan-ng-ulo’ stage hasn’t stopped yet, according to my mom, but I think I’m changing, well since I’m almost out of college, too! Hahaha! My parents never grew tired of supporting me in everything that I wanted and also my daughter’s needs and wants, too.

After all the emotional baggage, the physical pain I experienced from different people that came into my life, only God, my family and all the people who love me, that endured those struggles with me, helped me to be the person that I am today. (Hindi parin ako okay, guys.) But as long as I’m happy and I’m trying my best every single day especially for Mae, pwede na. 

I’m not that good in school, I just love studying, sometimes, I’m not the 100% hands on mother to my daughter, because that’s my mom, haha, sometimes, we’re like sisters fighting for each other’s side in bed, the television channel and even with crayons, but she will always be mine, no matter what. Like what I remind her most of the time, “pag dating ng panahon, tayong dalawa nalang, kaya tiisin moko, kasi ako lang mama mo.”

And after all those things, I realized that it’s not just happening to me, I may be the main character of my story, but the people who care for me have struggled with me all throughout and I can’t thank them enough for making it easier for me, because I know I had it easy. And for those who are struggling, just pray and always trust God.

To my mama and papa, who might never read this because she’s not techy like that, it’s not your fault. It’s mine, but thank you for not getting tired. Thank you for taking care of Mae and letting me enjoy life despite my responsibilities, you are the best.

To my sister, despite our differences, you are awesome, I love you and thank you for being the sister that I can always count on, not just because I have no other choice but because I love you.

To my Kuya Jay, you are my biggest inspiration, thank you for always listening to me despite our differences, thank you for always believing in me and thinking about my future, for loving Maemae unconditionally.

To my Kuya JB, we might not be close, but thank you for always taking care of me and Maemae and always thinking about us. I love you.

To Marvin, I love you. You are my best friend, kahit hindi moko bestfriend, thank you for always listening to my ‘uyyy, alam mo ba’ stories, I will never get tired of talking to you about those irrelevant things.